The Room Is On Fire As She's Fixing Her Hair
Friday, being the last day of work - I did my best to tie up loose ends while not having to do as much work as posibble.
A missing mill certificate that was requested was eventually found by the inspector himself.
As soon as I was left alone in the office, I blasted Muse, The Strokes and Shayne Ward (yeah, Shayne "You Leave Me Breathless" Ward) and spazzed out like there was no tomorrow.
Lunchtime was spent watching ladyboys from third world countries and watching my colleagues reenacting an excerpt from an interview with a ladyboy. This, by the way, came about because they found out I had to stay alone in the office to man the phones.
Male Colleague: Where are the others?
Me: Gone off for lunch.
Male Colleague: Why didn't you join them?
Me: I gotta answer calls whaaat.
At this point, he was already at his desk and putting on a high pitched voice, he squeaked:
"Good afternoon, Velosi Singapore!"
I was vaguely insulted - I didn't pick up calls that way! He sounded like a damn cheap and shady chatline operator! I was never that cheery and my voice wasn't as chirpy like he made it out to be lah, please. Before I could retort with an indignant "Heyyyy!" I was interrupted by the other male colleague who was quick to pick up on his cue and held up a faux microphone and solemnly asked:
How old are you?
25 (Still doing it in a high pitched drawl)
Are you a ladyboy?
Yes...
How long have you been a ladyboy?
Long long time... Since child...
Do your parents know about you?
Yes...
Do you like men?
Yes... (Flutters eyelids for extra effect, omgwtflolz)
Do you like women?
A lot! (At this point, his voice returns to normal. Freaky ladyboy imitation.)
I'm gonna miss their nonsense.
I was being paid for watching videos with them and joining in their conversations!
So so cool.
That happened almost everyday over there at the office.
Easy money, please come my way real soon!
Moving on, I'm staving off Guitar Hero hunger pangs by browsing the WWW for great xbox 360 deals and seeing Gaspard's skinny bare bum. When I get my very overdue paycheque, I'll be able to buy the 360 and still have a considerable sum of money left! Yeeeaaahhhhh!
The best and most unbelievable deal I've seen so far has got to be this guy selling the pro console for $260 only. Like OMGWTFSIA cheap that it's too good to be true. That's cheaper than my freakin' Wowzer! But yeah, caveat emptor huh.
(I'll call you girls to come on over if/when I buy it and Guitar Heroooooo!)
-
Today, my mum and I watched Transformers together.
She really loved that movie, so much so that she was willing to reject a phone call from her best gossip kaki and telling her she'll call back when the movie ends. Like whoa, miracles never cease.
At the end of the movie, when I felt good and nice tingly chills went up my spine because Bumblebee was so damn heroic and nice, my mum made this announcement.
"That soldier guy. He's handsome insane!"
(Literally translated from hansem giler)
I raised my eyebrow, which prompted her to squeal happily:
"So handsome!"
This, coming from the woman who stared at my Gaspard Ulliel photo on my bedroom wall and disapproved.
Whoever would disapprove of such beauty, I ask?!
Mum: Who's this?
Me: Meet my newest boyfriend.
Mum: You actually find this guy attractive?
Me: What's not to like? Glasses, Handsome with a capital H for HOT and he's French ah!
Mum: Macam baru bangun tido je. (sorta means "He looks like he's just fallen out of bed")
Me: *looks at Mum like she just spat obscenities* and then goes on to pursue the train of thought that basically looks like this: -
Bed + Gaspard = Mindblowing Sexyyyyy!
On a second thought, the y's are unnecessary. The extra y's I mean.
Hardy har har!
After the movie, I went out to meet Sharlene who was a total Chindilay! Wayyyy cool, IMO. Told her that all she needed was a Caucasian boyfriend. No particular reason, but she likes her men white, lollll. I splurged on a pair of gladiator sandals sighhhhhh. That shop guy was an exorbitant mofo!
Me: How much is this?
Him: Sith-ty aith (sixty-eight. He had a mild speech disorder I think)
Me: The last time I came here, I was quoted $50 (not true of course but hey, the customer's always right.)
Him: Okay, what size do you need?
Me: 6.
He shuffled to the other side of the store and consulted his partner and took out a pair of the sandals sized 7 which, I found out, fit perfectly.
Him: Best price for you - $55.
Me: *thinking 'Yeah right, more like best price for YOU! Best price for me would be no price, you geezer."* 50 laaaaah uncleeeeee...
Him: Cannot, original price was $68 you know.
Me: Okay. $52.
Him: Only $5 from $55, not much difference...
Me: *thinks "This yoink is obviously mathematically challenged!" but what the hell, just pay him lah* Okay.
I suck at bargaining :/
Anyway, I found out that Shar and I can be quite impulsive shoppers.
Shar can also think about not buying something on impulse too.
Shar: Should I get this blue tshirt? I should get it if it's cheap.
*Flips over the price tag and checks the price - $12.90*
Me: Eh, quite cheap what.
Shar: *Throws the tshirt and quickly walks away* Noooo I shouldn't buyyy!
Our train ride home was spent dissing the really "sumpah!" fugly pug faced girl creature who's worse than a twit.
She kept snapping pics of herself everywhere!
She made really ridiculous faces with lips pouted too. I wanted to puke my dinner out and that's not a nice thing to do. I paid good money for dinner!
Ling Ling helped me from getting too sick from watching her antics though. Hilar!
Reached home to find mum in the kitchen making tea and greeting me by saying "That soldier guy is my boyfriend!!!"
I'm not kidding.
Really, maman.
I'll accept him only if you'll accept mon amoureux Gaspard.
And concede that tousled bedhair like his is très zexy.
A missing mill certificate that was requested was eventually found by the inspector himself.
As soon as I was left alone in the office, I blasted Muse, The Strokes and Shayne Ward (yeah, Shayne "You Leave Me Breathless" Ward) and spazzed out like there was no tomorrow.
Lunchtime was spent watching ladyboys from third world countries and watching my colleagues reenacting an excerpt from an interview with a ladyboy. This, by the way, came about because they found out I had to stay alone in the office to man the phones.
Male Colleague: Where are the others?
Me: Gone off for lunch.
Male Colleague: Why didn't you join them?
Me: I gotta answer calls whaaat.
At this point, he was already at his desk and putting on a high pitched voice, he squeaked:
"Good afternoon, Velosi Singapore!"
I was vaguely insulted - I didn't pick up calls that way! He sounded like a damn cheap and shady chatline operator! I was never that cheery and my voice wasn't as chirpy like he made it out to be lah, please. Before I could retort with an indignant "Heyyyy!" I was interrupted by the other male colleague who was quick to pick up on his cue and held up a faux microphone and solemnly asked:
How old are you?
25 (Still doing it in a high pitched drawl)
Are you a ladyboy?
Yes...
How long have you been a ladyboy?
Long long time... Since child...
Do your parents know about you?
Yes...
Do you like men?
Yes... (Flutters eyelids for extra effect, omgwtflolz)
Do you like women?
A lot! (At this point, his voice returns to normal. Freaky ladyboy imitation.)
I'm gonna miss their nonsense.
I was being paid for watching videos with them and joining in their conversations!
So so cool.
That happened almost everyday over there at the office.
Easy money, please come my way real soon!
Moving on, I'm staving off Guitar Hero hunger pangs by browsing the WWW for great xbox 360 deals and seeing Gaspard's skinny bare bum. When I get my very overdue paycheque, I'll be able to buy the 360 and still have a considerable sum of money left! Yeeeaaahhhhh!
The best and most unbelievable deal I've seen so far has got to be this guy selling the pro console for $260 only. Like OMGWTFSIA cheap that it's too good to be true. That's cheaper than my freakin' Wowzer! But yeah, caveat emptor huh.
(I'll call you girls to come on over if/when I buy it and Guitar Heroooooo!)
-
Today, my mum and I watched Transformers together.
She really loved that movie, so much so that she was willing to reject a phone call from her best gossip kaki and telling her she'll call back when the movie ends. Like whoa, miracles never cease.
At the end of the movie, when I felt good and nice tingly chills went up my spine because Bumblebee was so damn heroic and nice, my mum made this announcement.
"That soldier guy. He's handsome insane!"
(Literally translated from hansem giler)
I raised my eyebrow, which prompted her to squeal happily:
"So handsome!"
This, coming from the woman who stared at my Gaspard Ulliel photo on my bedroom wall and disapproved.
Whoever would disapprove of such beauty, I ask?!
Mum: Who's this?
Me: Meet my newest boyfriend.
Mum: You actually find this guy attractive?
Me: What's not to like? Glasses, Handsome with a capital H for HOT and he's French ah!
Mum: Macam baru bangun tido je. (sorta means "He looks like he's just fallen out of bed")
Me: *looks at Mum like she just spat obscenities* and then goes on to pursue the train of thought that basically looks like this: -
Bed + Gaspard = Mindblowing Sexyyyyy!
On a second thought, the y's are unnecessary. The extra y's I mean.
Hardy har har!
After the movie, I went out to meet Sharlene who was a total Chindilay! Wayyyy cool, IMO. Told her that all she needed was a Caucasian boyfriend. No particular reason, but she likes her men white, lollll. I splurged on a pair of gladiator sandals sighhhhhh. That shop guy was an exorbitant mofo!
Me: How much is this?
Him: Sith-ty aith (sixty-eight. He had a mild speech disorder I think)
Me: The last time I came here, I was quoted $50 (not true of course but hey, the customer's always right.)
Him: Okay, what size do you need?
Me: 6.
He shuffled to the other side of the store and consulted his partner and took out a pair of the sandals sized 7 which, I found out, fit perfectly.
Him: Best price for you - $55.
Me: *thinking 'Yeah right, more like best price for YOU! Best price for me would be no price, you geezer."* 50 laaaaah uncleeeeee...
Him: Cannot, original price was $68 you know.
Me: Okay. $52.
Him: Only $5 from $55, not much difference...
Me: *thinks "This yoink is obviously mathematically challenged!" but what the hell, just pay him lah* Okay.
I suck at bargaining :/
Anyway, I found out that Shar and I can be quite impulsive shoppers.
Shar can also think about not buying something on impulse too.
Shar: Should I get this blue tshirt? I should get it if it's cheap.
*Flips over the price tag and checks the price - $12.90*
Me: Eh, quite cheap what.
Shar: *Throws the tshirt and quickly walks away* Noooo I shouldn't buyyy!
Our train ride home was spent dissing the really "sumpah!" fugly pug faced girl creature who's worse than a twit.
She kept snapping pics of herself everywhere!
She made really ridiculous faces with lips pouted too. I wanted to puke my dinner out and that's not a nice thing to do. I paid good money for dinner!
Ling Ling helped me from getting too sick from watching her antics though. Hilar!
Reached home to find mum in the kitchen making tea and greeting me by saying "That soldier guy is my boyfriend!!!"
I'm not kidding.
Really, maman.
I'll accept him only if you'll accept mon amoureux Gaspard.
And concede that tousled bedhair like his is très zexy.
This entry was posted
on Sunday, April 13, 2008 at 2:17 am.
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