Far Out: September 2006

OMGWTF

Saturday, September 23, 2006 | 11:07 pm

Mr Dore's announcement regarding the payment for Literature trip shook the whole class and prompted them to take drastic measures. Very desperate indeed.

They went off to buy 4D.

Yep. I was asked to supply them with 4 digits too, and I gave 2109, seeing how so many good stuff happened to me on my birthday.

AND GUESS WHAT PEEPS?

2109 CAME OUT LAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S WTF TO THE MAX. BUMMER.

Spoiler - They betted on 2209 because apparently, that's the number they heard me say.

I'm utterly shocked but I'm sure once I've gotten over this, I'll have a good time falling off the chair and laughing my fat ass off.

Ah Chance. How it plays with you.

yippee yi oh~ I'm sassy 17 now

Thursday, September 21, 2006 | 9:15 pm

Pictures! Loads and loads and loads of 'em! AND, I'm immensely pleased to say that I look good in most of them! Narcissistic, I know. (;

Pictures say a thousand words / Pictures tell a story, so they say. Ergo, I present to you THE BIRTHDAY SNAPSHOTS.

Woohoo picture perfect. Must be thanks to Mira's superior Photoshop skills, LOL.

Me and my partners-in-bitching (;

06A03!

Yveeeeeeeeee (:

The birthday peeps cutting the cake

Vit and I - born just a day apart from each other

Xinyi - the maddddd woman but loads of fun! Never fails to tease me, hmm? Shame on you!

The maddddd woman and I!

The birthday peeps! The girls newly 17, the guy newly 18.

I'm slouching to make my tutor look better. OK OK I'm a mean conniving bitch. He looks perfectly fine whether I'm standing upright or otherwise. There you go, a compliment for someone else, besides myself!

It's the photographer who's at fault! Caught me at an extremely fugly moment. Sheesh. :(

off to the shrink we go!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 | 12:22 am

Mondays are Lit lecture days. Usually it's ho-hum, occasionally Mr G will dish out a truly hilarious joke, but yes, only OCASSIONALLY. Today's lecture was no different from the rest. Mr G lectured, the back row were told to keep quiet a number of times and we slipped into our drowsy stupor minutes after being told off, only to start our chatter once again. The cycle continues, you get the picture.

Today, however, Mr Dore came in a few moments before the lecture ended and he wanted to talk to us regarding the lit trip to London. There were 5 too many people going for the trip so balloting had to be carried out. Here, 1 person pulled out from the trip and 2 other people said they could be put on the waiting list. That left 2 extra people so balloting still needed to be held anyway.

Devaki and Yvette's names were pulled out, lah! Like what the f***, kan.

Anyway, thank GOD they had another chance to go for the Lit trip as Mr Dore said he'll have another round of balloting. PHEW. I can't imagine going to London without these two girls, what with Yvee and her motion sickness on the 22-hour long plane journey and Devaki and her booming but infectious laughter.

Oh NO. Maybe I'm the one who'll be put on the waiting list! GOD FORBID, PLEASE. I WANNA GO! FOR THAT MATTER, WE ALL WANNA GO, THAT'S HOW WE LANDED INTO THIS STICKY CONUNDRUM IN THE FIRST PLACE, SHEESH.

Went to Paragon after school with my PW group to interview the psychiatrist. Got 2 boxes of chocolate for him as a token of appreciation (aren't we considerate) which were going dirt cheap at 2 for $10. Can you believe it, one box of the chocs were originally priced at $11.60.

Wonder why it's unbelievably cheap. IMF-related? Possibly.

After getting the chocs, we went straight up to the psychiatrist's office and waited for an hour and a half for him. The wait was long but WORTH IT because the dear psychiatrist supported our ideas and theories! At this rate, we shouldn't have much of a problem getting a B for our written report now, eh, JJ011?

B's pretty ambitious, yeah I know but we can do it!

Damn. So much to do, so little time.

Written report due tomorrow!

-

Dinner at Swensen's was gooood. Not really because of the food though it was great, of course, but it was the company that was excellent! The Slackers Extraordinaire. (:

Next up, hangout at Arab Street for sheesha session! Haha we don't care what you say Yvee, but to us, sheesha's less harmful than drinking!

Michelangelo on the scene!

Sunday, September 17, 2006 | 11:03 pm

Yesterday was a GOOD DAY. (:

Played Need for Speed and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on XBOX with my best cuz! We got to new levels yeah! Played behind locked doors so that those pesky young cousins don't come in to mess up our games, ergo, concentration levels are higher leading to better performance in the game.

I'm such a nerd.

Anyway, earlier on in the day, the aunties asked the female cousins to pick the ends off the beansprout or taugeh, as it is commonly known. Faris, my young cousin also wanted to help (make a mess). So he asked, "Mana satu ekor dia?" or "Which's the end?"

My elder cousin then replied, "Yang bawahnya ada bulu tu lah."

I won't bother translating. Translating it into English would spoil the pun. Many apologies to my non-Malay literate friends!

Panic! at the Disco? No, at the VMAs!

Sunday, September 10, 2006 | 4:26 am

Brendon Urie justifies the rise in the number of gays in the world. Not just women, but men too admire him. Ok, kidding about that part about justifying the increasing number of male homosexuals but I'm pretty sure there are some guys who are attracted to Brendon. All too understandable of course.

What's not to like about Brendon? He can sing (alright, he sounds weird in the video but it was still an interesting variation of the song). He's got good looks. And boy, can he dance! Oh, how the quirky moves have captivated my heart so. That part where he danced with those two women - I almost fell off my chair out of sheer oh-my-god-he's-so-hot-it's-a-sin feeling. Then there's the part where he "shushed" instead of saying "whore". That countenance! Those eyes! ~~The~~ Ok, I should stop before I embarass myself too much. Not to forget he is only 19 years old. That makes him just 2 years older than I am. Not much older but still older so ~~old~~ all is good!

and it's infuriating that panadol doesn't cause drowsiness

Saturday, September 09, 2006 | 5:10 am

It's immensely disturbing that I am still unable to get some shut-eye despite staying out for a good part of the day, and especially when sleep is my all-time love.

Sleep.
The ticket to transient ecstasy.
Where fragmented thoughts converge
To form a single coherent story of stories.
Am I not deserving enough for such treats?

-

Of course I knew "Out came the wolves" was simply a figure of speech. That last entry was simply the result of restless fingers, averse to the wills of my mind. GAH, the fingers have a life of their own! Ok, lamesville, moving on.

You mentioned something about religion and assumptions. I won't bother waxing lyrical about those. Instead why don't you read the following extract and ponder over it -

"Science is based on assumptions. Scientists assume that electricity will behave the same tomorrow as today. They assume that the laws of physics that apply on Earth will apply on other planets. Usually the assumption is right, or close enough to be useful.

"But sometimes assumptions lead us down the wrong path. For example, we assume time is continuous - meaning that between any two moments of time, no matter how brief is more time. But if that's true, then a minute would last forver because it would contain an infinite number of smaller time slices, and infinity means you never run out."

Just something for anyone who was feeling brain dead prior to this. It should have made you sit up and give your mind a little exercise - a brilliant warm-up to the rigours of school which will start once again come Monday.

Anyway, your latest post gave me something to think about. What is happy? To be frank, heck, I don't really know what it is but Mr Collins here says that happy is a feeling of pleasure, which doesn't really answer the question does it, because that is what it means and what it means and what it is are two distinct matters so unless you want the answer to what "happy" means, your question remains unanswered.

UH, my name means "happy", by the way.

Yet another failed attempt at cracking a hilarious joke. God, I need school. I want school. School stimulates my funny bones, or whatever you call that. So please, Monsieur Time, just this once, do not tarry. See me on the fastest flight to Monday. The Monday that will not be mundane. Manic Monday.

fun facts

Wednesday, September 06, 2006 | 3:08 am

Someone tell me where I can go for affordable facial slimming treatments.

It sucks that whenever I put on weight, it doesn't go to any other part of my body, save the cheeks. I have such chub-bloody-by cheeks that cause some malicious female acquaintances to go, "Dear God. You've gained weight! At this rate, your bride price will decrease, you know?"

Hoho. I've got a lot of retorts prepared and I use them freely.

"I'm not fat. I'm just not flat-chested and arse-less like you are." *smiles sweetly*

"You know, there is such a thing as true love where people don't judge by one's appearances? Like, how did YOU bag your boyfriend/fiance/husband in the first place, eh?"

"Bitch, you think I give a hoot about what you think? F*** off." (Specially reseved for use on extremely annoying nitpicking, better-than-thou dullards on cranky, bad hair days)

Anyway, I'm thinking it would be much easier (and a lot more politer) if I just lose the extra fat off my cheeks the natural way. I'm gonna start burning more calories!

Here's what I'm going to do on a regular basis.

Homework - I bet you'll complete your own assignments with much fervour if you knew that it'll help you lose 122 calories.

Make my own bed - Cease being a brat and lighten your maid's workload. Making beds is almost effortless and it burns 136 calories too.

Hunk-watch - Alright, so it says here that bird-watching burns 170 calories but I figured that hunks will still give the same effect. Besides, it's more aesthetically pleasing. :)

Do my own hair - Tying your own hair helps shed 170 calories? Incredible.

*Figures taken from Reader's Digest, August 2006 issue.

Right. I really should stop whining about my cheeks. There are many other people with more justified weight woes than I do, that's for certain. You reading this, dear acquaintance of mine? Of course I'm referring to you! Yes, you with the figure that leaves people speechless, for all the wrong reasons! Take note of my tips, yes? I'm only trying to help you, sweetie.

~~Hypocrite~~Hippocrite. Oh, I crack myself up.

if i could only die my way

Saturday, September 02, 2006 | 9:28 pm

Here comes the mess of whines!

Woo... SPLAT!

Ate a chicken sandwich for breakfast, 7 small-sized packets of Cheezels for lunch and a bowl of oatmeal for dinner today. BLEURGH. It looks so darn bad in print. Oh, AND a mug of tea where I happily dumped a big spoonful of sugar. Not if my mum had anything to say about it though.

"Well done. One 'small' spoonful of sugar, one big step towards diabetes."

I feigned nonchalance and just gave the widest eatshit grin I could muster, desperately praying the sugar wouldn't dissolve so fast into my tea while wishing my mum would make a swift exit out of the kitchen.

As soon she was out of sight, I scooped out all the sugar that hadn't dissolved into the tea already, which probably amounted to only 10 grains of sugar. Pathetic.

So I had better surrender myself to the inevitable fact.

I'm going to die as a grotesquely obese diabetic and as I lay there dead, ants are going to swarm my lifeless body for I would give out a stench that reeks of sweet sweet sugar then.

Sad shit.

I'd much rather die like this -

I get out of my black Lamborghini at that stretch of vacant field near the Esplanade and start doing yoga to de-stress from a hard day's work cracking cases at the Criminal Investigations Department. Just as I execute the infamous yoga move that requires me to balance myself on one feet while both of my arms are stretched frontwards, there is a sudden gust of wind. Taken back by sheer surprise, I fall but there's two strong arms waiting to catch me. [Wah, damn shiok :) ] I peer out to see an oh-so-effingly-good-looking face, his eyebrows arched in concern and his voice drawls in a sexy baritone, "Are you okay?"

This man is bespectacled and dressed in a black long-sleeved shirt folded up to his elbows. He sports a slightly spiked-up hairdo and his pants are tailored just perfectly for him. He also wears black dress shoes that makes a clip-clopping noise as he walks me to my car and proceeds to nurse my ankle which got sprained somehow.

So we make light conversation. I ask his name and he asks mine. We talk and talk and talk and then... he leans closer to me.

"There is this attraction about you that is impossible for me to resist. I must make you the one who will keep me company for eternity to come."

He then leaves two barely noticeable holes on my neck and I effectively become one of the nosferatu.

He then slips into the driver seat of my Lamborghini after gently placing me in the front passenger seat and off we ride into the night.

Not dead. Not alive too. What a way to die!

Yep. Deep inside me beats a secret heart of a goth romantic.

Eh, someone give me a job as a scriptwriter! I know you people just want me to. ;)

Far Out